This is one of my posts from the first experiment..thought I would share it with my new readers…enjoy!
I was sitting outside today just smoking a cigarette and looking at this tree that has been on my front lawn since I was born. Through the years it had grown into a monstrous giant looming high into the blue of the midday sky.
Up until a few years ago it was covered in a lush blanket of emerald ivy that dangled down in twisted braids from the branches high above. With each passing year the tree grew larger and the Ivy grew with it.
Beneath the covering of jaded speckled leaves; thick ropes of vines began to encircle the tree strangling it. Along with the bright green arrival of the new season, each new spring would reveal a part of the tree that had been choked of life from the beautiful ivy that had covered it.
It was decided that the Ivy had to go.
It took a long time of chopping away at the monstrous vines and pulling away at the layers of leaves that lay beneath it all. In time and after many months the Ivy with no source of nutrients from it’s severed vines began to shriveled up and fall away, until nothing but the skeleton of it’s former self was left.
Regardless of the strangle hold that it had been in for so long…the tree still grew
Every day it would still reach up to kiss the sunshine in the afternoon sky.
Even when parts of itself were dried and lifeless it never stopped fighting for the parts of itself that still lived.
Today as I sat outside I watched a little gray squirrel scurry through the dead branches and tangle of dried vines that still remain; cautiously he made his way across the tree until he reached a little branch that had sprouted from the dead growth.
On that branch was a little acorn that the squirrel quickly grabbed and ran down the tree to bury in the grass below for winter storage.
I started thinking how nature in all it’s splendor and glory carries with it many of the same stories I carry with me in my own life. The struggles I have encountered the things I have allowed to consume me.
With all that I have been through and gone through…..no matter what I still kept moving forward.
I still carry with me my history.
I still carry with me my past.
The hurt still has a place in my heart.
The pain is still there.
The lashes that life has inflicted upon my spirit; the scars will always be there.
But yet much like the vines of the ivy it no longer has the power to slowly kill me. The remnants will stay with me forever more….but the force that threatens to choke the life from me in it’s subtle deceptive ways no longer does.
My wounds.
My experiences.
My strength
Much like the little acorn….my pain now becomes a source of healing nourishment for those walking upon the paths of life I have traveled.
My pain, my struggles, my strength becomes the hope for the next person who has suffered…
It becomes the message for the hopeless.
When I first began this journey into the process of recovery I was told by someone,
“You are the message for the people God brings before you”
Deep within me I knew that with all that I have encountered in this life there had to be a reason. A purpose. A meaning for it all.
I am a message of hope.
I am a living breathing message for those who struggle in the silence of their lives.
For all those who feel alone.
For all those who feel unloved.
For all those who feel unworthy.
For all those who feel forgotten about.
I have lived in that silence and struggled in the loneliness of the existence that accompanies it….yet through time I have healed.
I have found freedom.
I have found me.
I have found my way to rise above it all to kiss the sunshine in all it’s glory waiting in the afternoon sky.
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If you enjoyed this post you may also enjoy the following……….
~The Process of Becoming
~The Spaces In-Between
~Love Falling
~Magic Shoes
~Simply Beautiful
~ It takes Courage
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