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I forgot…but I’m starting to remember.

I forgot how much I loved awaking before the sun. The sweet silence in my mind as I blend seamlessly into the shadows of the night. Beneath the canopy of darkness that seems to cloak the rest of the world in a dreamless slumber, I find myself staring at the heavenly stars above….lost in the wonder of it all.

Of all the hours that exist within the frame of the day, it is my favorite time. No noises to clutter the mind. No events of the day have yet occurred in which I get lost in the replay of. Just the quiet understanding that my hopes and dreams of all I desire in this life is simply mine for the taking if I choose to want it bad enough.

As of late, I have gotten lost in the details of my life . I forgot the reasons why I began this journey in the first place. I forgot the burning desire within my spirit that beckoned me to be more, have more and do more…not only for myself, but for all the other people I am blessed to have in my life.

This journey is about me.
This journey is about personal responsibility.
This journey is the path of my life.

Several websites have contacted me to invite me as a guest author, some of which I am already participating. I got exactly what I asked for and continue to discover the opportunities available to me in order to become a more established writer, yet in the whirlwind effect of it all…..

I lost my focus.
I lost my inspiration.
I lost myself.

I forgot how this journey began, why this journey began and how this journey has been taking place continually day after day. In the distance I have traveled in this short amount of time, I know I am no longer in the place where I began; physically, mentally or spiritually. This path that has opened before me has permitted me to venture into the many possibilities that exist and to discover the many dreams that have laid dormant deep within the depths of me, waiting for their day to reawaken.

When I made the decision to get clean a little over two years ago, I was taught that staying clean HAD to come first. It had to be my number one priority and that nothing was more important then that simple fact.

Before family.
Before friends.
Before relationships with men.
Before work.

Being clean was the foundation that had to be built on the terms of priority. There could be no cracks, misaligned intentions and it could not be secondary o anything else. Anything put before staying clean would be the first thing to go, this I knew well from prior attempts to get and stay clean.

All I would experienced would sprout forth from this fertile ground. Because I kept this priority, because I stayed focus, stayed clear…..my life blossomed before me in an amazing Technicolor like way.

Still today that simple truth resonates within me in a multitude of ways and helps me to realign myself spiritually to the truth of who I choose to be.

I must come first.

This site, like my decision to get and stay clean is the foundation of my writing. Without the journey here…there cannot be a journey elsewhere. All that has come about was through the careful tending of this idea rooted into the many ideas, thoughts and changing beliefs that are written throughout the archives of this site.

Now as the universe gentle nudges and reminds me of this eternal truth, I feel more grounded, more focused and more intent then before to continue walking this path that I have been blessed enough to discover. This path that has waited for my arrival as it has waited for the arrival of so many others who have traveled it before me…the road home to remembering who I am.

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This entry was written by mighty and posted on October 15, 2007 at 9:00 am and filed under Addiction, Beliefs, Recovery, living. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment(Latest is displayed first) or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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6 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. Thanks Morgan, I really wish I could see that my words came from me. I may have typed it, but you know who up there, put the seeds of wisdom in my mind.

    I’m just the messenger my friend. :)

    1. Rolando on October 15th, 2007 at 7:35 pm

  2. Your posts are so true and “poetic”. Your style is very unique to “yourself”.

    I wanted also to say a quick “Thank You” for the send off tonight. Very sweet… see you soon, Morgan :-)

    2. Eric "Speedcat Hollydale" on October 15th, 2007 at 7:14 pm

  3. Rolando……… I Love your comments because whether your realize it or not you always leave a little grain of wisdom that my mind can chew upon.
    I never thought to think that the road ahead was already clear and that it was my mind that needed to removed the “essential” blocks in the road…..thanks for the little piece of wisdom I can now use to put my picture puzzle together with!
    I know I have blocks and such…but never thought to venture further to see that they only exist within and not without….one of those weird little things that you know and do not know at the same time…until a message of clarity is offfered!

    3. mighty on October 15th, 2007 at 7:03 pm

  4. It’s a beautiful reminder to yourself Morgan. The wake up call of the morning sun. Is there a better sign than that!

    At least you’re quick to realize where you’ve been and the road you now need to take. Just from reading your past posts, your road is clear. You only have your mind to clear the road blocks.

    I’ll definitely be here anxiously awaiting the next steps of your journey.

    4. Rolando on October 15th, 2007 at 4:10 pm

  5. Thanks Bobby….Many people misconstrue the concept behind selfishness, not comprehending that without self, there is nothing more! I want to take advantage of all these new opportunities to get myself “out there” so to speak, but not at the cost of losing myself in the process. This is where it began for me and I must stay true to that before I venture forth in any other way.
    On a side note addiction, alcoholism all of the addictions that plague humanity all are one in the same…we just disguise them with crafty little labels such as alcoholic, drug addict, pill head, crack head, coke whore, pot head..in the end the substance may change for each person afflicted…but they all suffer from the same dis-ease of self.

    5. mighty on October 15th, 2007 at 11:34 am

  6. I am always touched with how honest you are in your writing. I’m lucky that everyone in my family (mother, all my uncles, cousins, grandfather) are alcoholics.

    I watched what happened to them and never had a drinking problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done my share of everything under the sun. I just became bored with it.

    Good luck with writing for other sites! I have been invited to join other blogs but it I barely have time to take care of my own. I am an author of Santa’s blog and I have yet to write a single post on it!

    I feel guilty being a member but never writing. I will if I get the time. Ayn Rand wrote a great book called “The Virtue of Selfishness”. Selfishness is a virtue in many ways because you SHOULD come first!

    A lot of people may take what I said the wrong way. They say, no, my kids come first. Well of course they do. In the process, some people neglect and lose love for themselves.

    I say to that person, yes your kids come first, just like you do!!!!!

    6. Bobby Revell on October 15th, 2007 at 10:01 am

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