The Process of a Miracle.

So I’m back….

I had to stop writing for a quick moment in order to start living a bit more. I’m one that loves to thinks, analyze, ponder, question, wonder, dream and hope. But sometimes in doing all these things I forget the one reason why I….

Think
Analyze
Ponder
Question
Wonder
Dream
Hope…

I do all this simply because I want to live.

I have wasted many years lost in the confusion of my mind, only to be blessed enough to discover a way out of maze of insanity mapped within my brain. But still at times I revisit old ways of thinking, behaviors and beliefs without even knowing I am stuck in this puzzle of my past.

The past two years have been all about running as fast as I could away from the person I used to be. Constantly examining who I was, who I wanted to be and working diligently on recreating myself in the image of who I choose to be. What I came to realize as of late is that who I used to be is just as important as who I want to be.

My life and the contrasts of my being provide the very path I now walk upon.

I thought I understood this and have written about it quite often, yet as of late I came to realize that yet again, what I think I know is always subject to revision. I know that each level of self-acceptance I achieve is only the doorway to a new level of surrender.

This process will never be finished, it will never be complete, it will never end.

The goal is to use what I learn to allow me to live my life free from the very things that have the capacity to keep me stuck, but of which also have the potential to free me from myself.

The goal is to not forget this.
The goal is to keep moving forward.
The goal is to not allow the process to consume me.

The goal is to live.