The Process of a Miracle.

I can say with certainty that for the past week or so I have been more than a little distracted.

In fact I have been very distracted. 

I have been so focused on myself and this journey of my life for the past few months that I wasn’t prepared to be so knocked off balance with the minor distractions of life. I’m still a bit off center leaning to the right side of love, but with the intention of realigning myself with my own higher purpose in order to continue to walk this path I have created for myself.

A new relationship of any kind definitely has the capacity to grab my attention and pull me out of myself and in the past it has.

And for the past week or so it has……but I’m regaining my focus.

I never again want to fall prey to the idea or notion of someone completing me or becoming my other half. I have lived in those lies for much of my life and if anything it has left me feeling more incomplete then complete….so I choose not to return to the idea of love that I once held.

But I have to be honest when I write that I really like this guy.

He’s attractive.
He’s funny.
He’s smart.
He’s self supporting.
He’s charismatic.
He’s affectionate.
He’s loving.
He’s a gentleman.

He has the qualities that I now demand a person has for me to even entertain the idea of something……but I am beginning miss the life that I have begun to build. The ideas that
I entertain, the freedom of my own deliberate creation within my life based upon my desires…………..I don’t want to lose myself in the process. 

So I won’t.

I’m heading back to Queens tonight to re-visit my friends that I have not seen since I moved away.

Sometimes you need to go back…way back to remember where you started. I need to go back, to sit at the beach, look at the stars, walk on my old block. I need to go back and to look ahead to now, to see all that has transpired, changed improved.

I need to go back, step back and take a look at the bigger picture that has formed itself from the time I started this journey until the present moment in time….and with that I will re-focus, recommit and re-establish myself on this path of my life that I now walk.